Something Meaty This Way Comes - Stretch Goal 3
about 3 years ago – Fri, Feb 10, 2023 at 10:58:19 AM

The backers have spoken and they demand MEAT!

We have officially passed $5000 granting me the honor of butchering up raw steak for the sake of a beautifully marbled map for our Fleshlin Guide!

Next up is a big one. At $6,666 we unlock a chance to quench the hunger of the beast. And by beast, we mean a ground meat effigy made from those sacrificed to the mighty Ouroboros.

When we hit this mark, I'll update the book with another full adventure... The Meat Mines of Ouroboros! Adding 4-6 pages to our already jam-packed feast.  I won't lie, this whole idea made me so giddy that I've already put far too much time into developing and planning for it.  I'm definitely biased, but I'm really hoping we get here so I can share this absolutely nightmarish nonsense with you.   

Most Prestigious People Eater- The Connoisseur
about 3 years ago – Thu, Feb 09, 2023 at 02:21:46 PM

Today our cannibal spotlight is on the prestigious CONNOISSEUR!

“As a pinnacle of personality in civilized circles, the only thing finer than the society you're used to is the decadence of taste your adventurous secret life serves you. Meats overcooked and underseasoned are for the dogs, your meals will be enjoyed with fine wines and fava beans. You are not a simple cannibal, you are a Connoisseur on a culinary journey!”

As a Magistrate, Arkiboll Krimb is as comfortable serving death sentences as he is serving cadaver caviar. By day, Krimb enjoys the lofty delights of the near-absolute power his station grants him. And by night, he retreats into the dungeons to marvel at his sentenced meals. His true self is “The Ripper”. A butcherer of the working class, he savors the tastes of as many different professions as he can get his teeth on. He slices the throats of the “guilty” with his Razor Garote - Agility DR14 to attack dealing 1d8 Damage - then enjoys a candied adam's apple treat with a lovely paired with his Chiantic Charm. Krimb enjoys his lot in life.  After all, his hunger earned him such delights. History may know him for his luxurious present, but Krimb knows the truth. In the squalor of youth, he discovered a rune-riddled bog hand. Its ring finger granted wealth, its middle finger granted prestige, its thumb kept his neck intact the one time he got caught… Only the index and pinky remain of this Faustian Flavor. And his debts WILL be collected… one day. Arkiboll can be found in the crooked courts of Grift - gavel in hand - sentencing the innocent by day and sautéing them by night.

They say an apple a day keeps the Apothecary away, but for Dr. Viktur Thrash...it’s a delightful garnish. An angel of death to those that know him (though they never know him long), Thrash always seems to be one step ahead of the stockades thanks to his satchel of forged documents and Royal Decree. The single greatest emergency apothecary this side of lake Onda, no one has a better success rate than Dr. Thrash.  Although a suspicious number of his cured patients seem to mysteriously disappear just weeks after being blessed with a second chance at life. How can he get away with such grizzly pickings? By granting his victims a third life! To this “Buffalo Butcher”, the fullness of flavor isn’t just about the taste and smell of a victim, but rather who they are. He makes masks of his victim's faces - often eating them… as them. These Fickle Faces let him continue the lives he saved (then ended) in his own way. When interacting in one of these masks, make a DR12 Presence check for it to pass as your face. This will not work on those who recognize the face you stole.  Dr. VikturThrash can be found playing house with one of the many terrified wives and husbands of his plethora of faceless victims.

A Tale of Two Cannibals - The Humanitarian & Stretch Goal 2
about 3 years ago – Wed, Feb 08, 2023 at 04:17:50 PM

First off, I’d like to thank you all for devouring our first stretch goal. I can’t wait for you to face the nightmarish delights of the expanded “Slayplace!”

Our next stretch goal will be something even more wicked and weird.  Just to prepare your palates for the meaty goals lurking beyond.

At $5000 I will upgrade our illustrated Fleshlin Guide. This curated map is your best source for the where’s where on who to eat within the dying lands. 

No longer will it be a simple illustration, I will tear that up and collage it onto a lovely piece of unnecessarily real RAW STEAK. Newly charred with our map and scanned in for the book.

And if you think THAT'S bloody, wait till you see the horrors that await within the ground meat Mines of Ouroboros - a new adventure to stop (or join?) the cult of Ouroboros from creating their monstrous, god-imbued meat golem.  If we hit $6,666, I'll sculpt their charnel dungeon from ground beef and scan for the book.

Over the course of our campaign, we will share a spotlight on one of our classes as a way to peel back the skin and see a little deeper into what that class entails. 

First up is the HUMANITARIAN

“Your friends teased you when you became enlightened. They called it a fad when you tried to convince them to join you! You were always one to chase a trend… but not anymore. The cruelty of man will come to an end. No longer will they steal from the mouths of the furry folk, no longer will the trees fall to arm their bloodthirsty hunters, no longer will your friends laugh at you from their stitched place upon your handmade, locally sourced human leather jacket. You are a Humanitarian, and you walk the righteous path.”

But what could playing one of these dietary delinquents look like? We rolled some dice to find out two possible characters…

Glip Kaww’s path of righteousness was sparked thanks to the bravery of Humanitarian protesters they watched be torn limb-from-limb by the mob of starving farmers whose crops they'd burned to the ground.  The guts it takes to act on your beliefs in the face of carbo-loaded fools was truly inspiring. Decked in the human leather armor so elegantly stitched by their own hand, Kaww is more than a simple Carrion Crafter, they are a SMEREMONGER, a  tallow tinkerer, a wax whisperer, the one who forms with fat! No longer will the bellies of the impure bounce in protest of the purest pursuits. Kaww coats their femur in heaps of Flammable Ephemeral - a homemade candle recipe that when lit, adds 1d4 fire damage to the first successful attack made with this weapon before being smashed apart.  And don’t let your nose fool you, that is not lavender you smell - that's Kaww’s Signature Stink.  An all-natural human fat soap that does wonders for the skin and "personal aura". Those less cultured noses with Morale 7 or less must make a morale check when they first step close enough to smell whoever has been “cleaned” with this pungent bar. Glipp Kaww can be found taking long walks on the endless coast and robbing tombs hoping to find that hallowed bezoar in preparation for their master craft - the Adiposic Effigy.

Iggy’s path has been long and full of self-discovery and failed experimentation. A lifetime of fad diets led them to try the Humanitarian way and thanks to the guilt-free taste of human meat this was the first one that stuck. Now gleefully full of self-worth and human chutney, Iggy focuses on the external self. Iggy always dreamed of being on the cutting edge of fashion; so now they pierce, jab, and stitch themselves into something truly unique. Crafting is temporary, modification is forever. Iggy is a MUTALIST. Iggy’s current obsession is phalangial and they won’t stop stitching until they have their own Blooming Fist.  Take 1d2 damage to attempt to stitch severed fingers onto your hand then roll 1D4. On a 4 your nerves are compatible and you gain a usable finger, any other result, it's only decorative if you choose to keep it. For every 2 new functional fingers, that hand gains +1 unarmed damage. If a hand ever has 10 or more functional fingers, it may wield 2-handed weapons as 1-handed. For those will less finger-focused minds, there is always the assistance of a Lurking Limb. Iggy can be found… well… they can’t be found. Iggy is currently on the run for stealing a clipping of Anthelia's hair in an attempt to finally craft the Forbidden Friend.

With three classes to go, who do you want us to roll up next? The Connoisseur, the Filet-gellant, or the Temple to Wurm?

Looks like MEAT'S back on the menu boys! - Fully Funded & Stretch Goal 1
about 3 years ago – Tue, Feb 07, 2023 at 12:05:21 PM

I'm so floored and grateful to everyone who backed this feast of absurdity and horror...and backed it so rapidly!  Fully funded in under five hours was NOT expected.  It brings a tear to this ole cannibal's eye to see so many fellow wonderfully dark goofs out there.  But don't worry, the tears just add flavor. 

I'm going to take the afternoon to celebrate, but this is just the beginning.  I've got a list of stretch goals - both reasonable and unlikely - but all fittingly ridiculous.  The first of which is not that far off at only $4K. 

STRETCH GOAL #1 - $4K:  Expanding the SLAY PLACE. 

McBeth's labyrinthian torture dungeon of ball pits and toddler traps made famous by "The Hand That Feeds". The Slay Place was designed to be a one-page dungeon of sorts, mostly random charts to add a little horrible flavor to the cannibal kids' favorite play spot.  Our first stretch goal will take the limit off and expand it into the twisting, turning tunnel of horror it is destined to be.  We'll change this from a 1 page to a minimum of 4 kid (un)friendly pages (though we will make it as big as necessary)! While you enjoy your burgers in peace, send the little ones to play in pieces.  But be warned... there are fouler things than brats in the deep ball pits littering the horrors of fun... don't forget to leave your shoes in the cubby as you'll need to stay silent to avoid waking the multicolored Ball-rog,